Our Most Expansive Self

I believe human beings are endowed with incredible, unfathomable power. And because of this, our relationship with that power has been filled with ambivalence over having it, doubt about how we are to use it, and the fear of losing it. That ambivalence, doubt, and fear has generally manifested throughout history as misuse and abuse of power. It’s as if one’s own power can only be affirmed or proven by lording it over another. 

We are well acquainted with the wrong use of power, and we continue to suffer its effects. From war between nations and within nations to racial division to domestic violence to workplace bullying to class-ism and so much more, we keep repeating a familiar pattern of our dysfunctional relationship with power and therefore with one another. Enough! Humanity must evolve beyond this limited consciousness.

The good news is we have the choice to end this dysfunctional relationship at any time. Indeed, many people are waking up to this truth. A healthy relationship with power is possible for each of us through the trust of our most expansive self. Variably, the most expansive self might also be referred to as our “better nature,” “divine guidance,” “spirit,” or “higher consciousness.” Our most expansive self recognizes our human individuality as a contributor and advocate for the good of all.

Our most expansive self has – and keeps working towards – full awareness of life inside and out. This awareness is the understanding that by our existence, we each make an impact on the world and that we have responsibility for it. For instance, when I have an anxious thought about something or somebody, I can either act hastily from my emotional state, increasing the risk of harm to myself or others; try to suppress what I’m thinking and feeling, which often only intensifies my affliction; or acknowledge my thought and my feeling, be compassionate to myself, and give the feeling time to pass. In so doing, I recognize that I am likely to make a more conscious and responsible decision from a calmer state.

The difficult part is to consciously catch oneself in a reactive state. A simple technique to help you do this is to visualize your emotional reactivity as a wave on the ocean. The more intense your reaction, the bigger the wave. The bigger the wave, the stronger the signal to take care of yourself in the moment. You can do this by visualizing the wave slowly diminishing with each successive breath. Even better than visualizing the wave is to feel your emotion AS the wave. Then with each successive breath, feel yourself ride out the wave to completion. 

Riding the waves of emotion takes practice. Sometimes you will be more successful at it than others and that’s all right. As with anything you practice, you will get better. Ultimately, the mastery to ride the inevitable waves in life builds the capacity for a strong heart and settled mind. From these you make the best decisions, and through these you express your most expansive self.